Now my blogging skills are all gone.
I don't know how to start writing, or what title to write.
I've wanted to blog for these few days but due to exam I don't have time to do so.
I'll just share some stories of my life.
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start with yesterday and today.
Exams have started, yesterday was the 2nd day of exam, Geography and BM.
It was overall smooth,Thank God, and those who said jiayou and prayed for me :)
After exam , me , and my my bestie jiamin , as usual,hang out together, she bought me kit kat for free man. I was so touched. =D I teman her cross the bridge and she took bus home.
I walked back to school, meet up with vivian and guan de.
We eat 橙盘的饭, left a few type of food only. :(
after eating we're supposed to start doing MATHS. but we ended up talking, about pets! lol ..
But later on we still got do maths la. :D Thanks to Vivian and Guan De for teaching me maths.. :)
Chern Yong and Guan De. Doing maths or playing game? XD
Then I was back home.
Here comes the dissapointed moment.
I felt so dissappointed at myself.
I was supposed to go for violin lesson.
but I'm not done with the decorations yet.
That time was already 3 something, and i have to go to church at 5.
I really felt so dissapointed at that moment.
the first thing i did when i reach home was to cut the color papers.
I felt so... so...kind of angry at myself.
I fail in everything I do.
I stared at the yellow papers and i felt that it was so ugly , like the result of my failure.
I felt so tired, Physically.
I just keep on staring at them.
Thanks to someone who cheered me up... =)
I prayed for God's strength..
I didn't go to violin lesson, i have no choice...
Just like this picture below. I took this picture , when i was really disappointed.
The result of my failure.
So at 5 I went to church, for the decorations and practice, and MIF at night.
Change mood change mood.
It's a happy night ! it's MIF PRAISE AND WORSHIP NIGHT! :)
Actually I have maths exam the next day.
I didnt know how to tell my mum and dad that i have to go church till late night.
But Thank God they did let me go..
Yay, i reached church ! I changed my mood, I wasn't so down anymore.
Later on Alex came to help me decorate as he is my Sub-com.
Thanks Alex. :)
When alex had nothing to do he went to play the piano.
I was so shocked. you know why?
He's playing 路小雨，斗琴，turkish march very well !
and he learned it all by himself ! + some help of bryan !
My brother is really very very talented, seriously.
I never seen someone that can play the piano so well without taking lessons. :)
I feel so proud of him . :D
Picture Below : When cutting the alphabets.
Thanks to my awesome phone camera quality, i looked so ugly.
We were wearing choir shirt !! i left choir at form 1 but i have the shirt ! and i miss choir days!!!
Before PNW night started, something really sad happened.
I took down the decorations.
It was really ugly, My mood 陷入谷底 .
When i saw my 作品 from far, it was really ugly and im so dissapointed at myself,again.
All i did was going to be taken away.
I decided to take it down, it looks better without it.
At that moment i really feel like crying.
-
I spoiled my own mood, great.
Later on i thought, i dont want to miss this awesome night.
I dont want to carry this long donkey face for the whole night.
i decided to move on and do better on the next task of tonight - pianist.
And so, PNW went sucsessful .
Bro. Ken Loong shared a really meaningful Message.
It means alot to me. Because i have truly experienced it myself.
I felt SO UNWORTHY before.
I felt so undeserved before.
I felt that i don't deserve God's love.
But you know what?
God says He knows it all, and He is willing to love such an unworthy person like me.
I will never forget the times that i really cried during praise and worship.
I remember when i was in primary I did cry once because i was touched during PNW.
but the 3 times i remembered most was last year once and this year twice.
I cried really hard .
It was dark during worship session during english service.
somehow , it's just so true.
Holy Spirit touched me.
My tears just cant help to roll down .
what Bro. Ken Loong shared was so true.
The 4 Rs
R- Revelation
R- Realization
R- Repentence
R- Response
Yes, though i felt unworthy , but i cant just stop there feeling unworthy all of my life.
I have to move on, and respond to God.
The more I see the unworthiness in me, the more i know how much He loves me.
Thank You, God.
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A very nice friend of mine gave me a paper about bible verses related we can cling on to during exams.
Before exams, during exams, and after exams.
It's really meaningful! I'm going to stick it on the wall beside my bed.
before i sleep, when i wake up and any other times, i can see it !
Thank you so so so so so so so so so much!!! :)
PNW went smoothly too, although 3 songs were cancelled due to the lacking of time.
But i played mistakes! AAH! =\
but overall everything went well, Praise the Lord ! :)
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Today. 12.05.2012.
It's a very special day.
Maths exam. I woke up late this morning and i felt extremely tired.
Every time's maths test is like dooms day to me.
I hate it !
I came to school with a really tired, and emo mood.
i dont want to face it, im afraid.
and im so tired physically, my eyes cant even open wide and i looked like i never sleep for a long time. -.-
afraid of what? maths of course.
Anybody who knows Annabella Ching Shi knows that her maths is horrible.
Since primary , my maths already very teruk.
Secondary even worse !
no one will ever find me to ask me maths, except my sister which she is in primary school.
Every teacher, and everybody in the class knows how weak my maths is.
Seriously, that bad !
I'm seriously afraid.
Everybody in the class was like so calm.
i looked calm in the outside but inside i was so afraid and didn't want to face it.
果然在我预料当中。
I really don't know how to do.
Great.
I felt so down.
But i have free sweet to eat.
Jia Min saw that i was so down so she bought sweet for me.
YAYYYY. :D
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I really hate mathematics exam .
every time got maths exam , sure got this feeling.
feeling of dissapointment, sad,down,emo,ashame.
Someone told me to look up at the sky and see how beautiful it is.
i did, and it was really wide and beautiful. Thanks :)
Me and tim crossed the bridge and we went home.
I thank God for the caring friends in my life.
Although i dont know how to do maths,
before exam,
once i sit down on my seat, sure got a few people automatic come ask me
会做吗？有什么不会？ :)
I didnt ask them but they taught me. =)
Thanks to them, my caring classmates.
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Done with yersterday's and today's post.
I decided not to say so much about my feelings.
actually i've been writing a diary for a few weeks.
I write it every night, at my room's table,below the romantic yellow light. LOL..
ll my feelings are in there, so i think i dont need to write it here too.
Before I end, just to share with you guys 2 books that mean alot to me.
<< I kissed dating goodbye >> - Joshua Harris.
On the left is the old cover, on the right is the new updated version,and new cover.
the content inside is the same.
Kiss Dating Goodbye? Don't ever date in your whole life?
You might think that this book is asking us not to have a relationship.
If you think this way, You're absolutely wrong.
This Book, teaches us about A new and right attitude toward romance and relationships in a Christian perspective. This book is very popular.
I'm not here to just only promote this book , just that simple.
I'm posting about this with a story behind, which really means alot,alot , alot to me.
The 1st time i read this book was last year, September 16.
It was Malaysia day,a holiday and a friday and saturday got exam and sunday no school.
Mum, dad and sis went to the english service retreat camp for 3 days 2 nights.
i was at home alone, enjoying the solitary all by my myself.
i didnt go to the camp because i have exams.
At that period of time,
I'm struggling through a really hard time.
tears accompanied me throughout my days.
As i said i was alone at home,
so i went to my mum's room and saw this 2 books on her table.
I was immediately kind of attracted to the title.
So i just simply took it and read it, without knowing how much will it impact my life.
Guess what's next?
I cried.
I cried for three days .
.
On sunday morning, my aunt fetched my to church and i went alone without mum beside me.
I saw nanson and i sat next to him during english service.
during the pnw session, I cried from the 1st song to the last song.
It's like all the burden in me, has been set free.
It's all about the love of God.
When you are willing to open up your hearts and cast your burdens to him,
He will show you tremendous and wonderful things He's got for you.
This is the most amazing experience.
It was totally and absolutely God's message to me.
It was Him, it was Him trying to talk to me through this book.
It was God! It was God wanting me to go back to him and telling me how much He loves me.
.
I wrote a long long hand-written letter to my mum, for the first time in my life.
I told her everything about my feelings,my sorrows,my pains, and i said sorry to her for everything i've done, for making her so dissapointed at me,for making her feel so hurt because of me.
those 3 days when my family members wasn't at home,
I really spent time alot with God, listening to what He wants to tell me.
and as well as the tears that never stopped.
when mum came back, i took the courage to give her the letter.
and she replied me with a long long hand-written letter too.
It's a kind of warm feeling that words cant describe.
from that moment onward i did not want to dissapoint her again.
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This year, I read through this book again, 很仔细很仔细的看。
Again, God touched me.
But this time i did not cry out of sorrow anymore.
I smiled and felt so rejoice in my heart.
Again, the content in the book just taught me so much .
Again, the testimonies and stories in the book, just awakened me again.
It reminds me, to live a pure and holy life in my walk of relationship with God.
I've fell down once, i will not fall down in the same pit again.
I want to rise up and stand for Christ.
YOU WILL NEVER EVER REGRET READING THIS BOOK,NEVER.
if anyone wants it, can tell me, my mum's college bookstore got.
I want to live a pure life. PURE AND HOLY LIFE.
.
Someone told me,
if you like someone,
pray, pray, and keep praying .
And i'm praying now.
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Recently I feel much more joyful because of an awesome friend. :)
It's an incredible feeling, which i've never ever experienced it in my life before.
Aaaaahh i won't say my feelings here cuz i told my diary. :D
Hopefully this person i'm mentioning sees this. =)
Thank You so much , 0001. =)
.
Dear God,
If it is Your will, may it be done.
I will obey you.
If it really is,
the feelings won't end.
I don't want it to end,either.
The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. - Joshua Harris.
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